I hate your face
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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