She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
