Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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