There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
