i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
