no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize