dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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