I seem to have left my pride at pride
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
