matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
