Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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