he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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