look no pants
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
