she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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