i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
