i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
ttyl tear gas
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize