he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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