we're chasing vodka with high fives
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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