I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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