When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
