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Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize