Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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