she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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