Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
