so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
