Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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