he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
