It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
