I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
