put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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