Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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