i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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