do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
