part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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