I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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