I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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