If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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