Don't make out with my wife yet
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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