Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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