we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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