We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
