how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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