I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
