Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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