So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
