Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
