and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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