so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Found the puke drawer
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
