You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
