She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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