I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
