Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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