so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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