He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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