no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
