I hate all girls vehemently.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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