I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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