I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
