It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
