Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Randomize
